Well, I warned y’all, this week is not going to be about gaming. Read my last post for the background if you’re confused. Anyways, let’s dive back in…
Depression was an easy trap to fall in to with the way I was living my life.
But let’s take a step back to right before I think it all started going south. At my most recent best, we had just moved out of our house in the suburbs and in to a fun little part of the city where we could walk everywhere. We did this because we wanted to take a 1-year break from life before we were going to settle down and start our family. So, something great about living in a city vs. the suburbs… when you have the ability to walk around and be entertained, it is so much easier to get your ass off the couch and do so. I walked everywhere, hardly ever used my car. My Fitbit daily average steps went from somewhere around 5k to usually above 15k. I lost a lot of weight I had put on after picking up a desk job. I was rarely bored because there was always something to do. And the last few months we even had some long-time friends that ended up moving nearby so we had a group of good people to do all this with.
Then, the 1-year break was over, and we moved back to our house in the burbs (we were renting it out while we weren’t living there so it was easy to move back when the lease was up). There were a lot of things that changed when we moved back. I know this is not the correct order of events, but it went something like this: move back to the suburbs, now we can’t walk anywhere and have to drive, also our friends are far away now, can’t really have a night out at a bar now because we have to drive and don’t want to drink/drive, start drinking at home, stop going out, stop seeing friends as often because we get used to not going out and we’re far away, start putting weight back on because I’m not as active, don’t have as many outlets for stress relief now that all I do is stay home and drink, work stress starts to take over my life and on and on. It was pretty much a snowball effect for me.
Could I have handled moving back better and not let things get out of hand? Absolutely. It was well within my power to prevent all of that from happening. But it all came on so gradually over the course of almost 3 years that I didn’t notice any of it was happening at all. That’s what I meant earlier when I said depression was an easy trap to fall in to. It was very small changes over a very long period of time, and by the time I noticed it I felt hopeless.
Alright, I think that’s enough history. Next post I want to talk about some of the positive changes I’ve been working on in my life and some of the things I’m looking forward to doing for this blog in the future. See you in a few days.